Die blaue Hoffnung

Ich bin in Izmir. Es war ein sehr heißer Tag. Ganz genau heute sind die Gezi-Park Demonstrationen zwei Monate her. Ich stehe voll auf das Leben, obwohl wir sehr schwierige Tage hatten. Die Sonne versteckt sich gleich, damit sie morgen nochmal scheinen kann. Ich bin eigentlich für heute Abend verabredet, aber bis dahin wollte ich mir noch ein bisschen Zeit nehmen. Wenn ich mit mir allein sein will um nachzudenken, gehe ich sofort auf die Straße. Die Straßen sind schon verrückt, wirklich! Auf ihnen gibt es so viele Menschen, die Eile haben. Sie beobachten die Menschen nicht und können nicht „Hallo“ sagen. Deswegen setze ich mich immer auf den Boden und beobachte die Leute. Da merke ich auch, obwohl wir so viele sind, sind wir irgendwie auch alleine. Diese Momente, wie ich sie momentan erlebe, sind mein Denkzettel, den ich mir selber verpasse.

 


»Wir laufen doch jeden Tag auf der gleichen Erde«

 

Naja, erstmal gehe ich ans Meer um den Sonnenuntergang zu sehen, den Geruch des Meeres zu riechen und mit der Welt zu beten. Das ist mein Gebet seit ich 14 bin. Ich hatte in meiner Kindheit eine Bande, mit denen ich immer den Sonnenuntergang genossen habe. Das war unser Gebet, während wir kein Wort miteinander sprachen. Wir waren ja zusammen, aber mit uns alleine. Der Sonnenuntergang ist so faszinierend, so einzigartig für mich, dass ich ihn leider nicht beschreiben kann, obwohl ich alles darstellen kann. Wie kann man ein Gebet darstellen? Ich habe keine Ahnung, oder – mein Deutsch ist noch immer nicht gut genug dafür. Während ich rauche, höre ich ein Lied, das seit 100 Jahren gesungen wird, rieche das Meer, spüre den angenehmen Wind. Ich frage mich, warum die Menschen laut sind und ihre Meinungen sagen. Wir könnten auch mit Freude gemeinsam auf dem gleichen Boden zusammen leben. Warum soll das so schwierig sein? Wir laufen doch jeden Tag auf der gleichen Erde. Mit Kopftuch, ohne Kopftuch, als Homosexuelle, als Heterosexuelle, als Linke, als Gläubige, als Atheisten, als Aktivistin, als Verletzende, als Glückliche, als … Wir leben auf dem gleichen Boden – warum müssen wir uns beweisen? Wozu? Gott sagt uns das auf jeden Fall nicht. Er erwartet von uns, dass wir uns akzeptieren können, wie wir sind. Warum schaffen wir das nicht?

 


»Ich rieche das Meer, weil ich den Geruch des Pfeffer-Sprays vergessen will«

 

Na doch, wir haben als jugendliche Generation vor zwei Monaten gezeigt, dass wir füreinander sein können, aber es hat viel zu viel Kraft und Schmerzen gekostet. Viele Freunde und ich wurden dafür von der alten Gesellschaft bestraft. Ich bin aber froh, dass wir dabei waren. Ich wünsche mir, dass wir wieder füreinander sein können. Ich rieche das Meer, weil ich das Meer jeden Tag verdammt vermisse, aber auch weil ich den Geruch des Pfeffer-Sprays vergessen will. Ich sehe das Meer und ich frage mich, ob es für mich immer noch eine Hoffnung gibt. Weil ich laut war, weil ich dagegen war, weil ich alles verloren habe, was ich verdient gehabt hätte, habe ich auch meine Hoffnung fast verloren. Ich weiß aber, bis zum Tod gibt es immer eine Hoffnung, deswegen wollte ich den Sonnenuntergang sehen, weil ich weiß, morgen wird ein neuer Tag sein. Die Sonne zeigt sich nochmal. Ich weiß in jeder Dunkelheit gibt es auch Licht. Ich darf das nie vergessen … und schon ist die Sonne weg.

 


»Plötzlich scheint die Stadt zu heilen«

 

Ein Typ steht plötzlich vor mir und redet auf mich ein, aber wegen meiner Kopfhörer kann ich leider kein Wort verstehen. Ich nehme meine Kopfhörer ab: „Entschuldigung was hast du gesagt?“ Er antwortet: „Wir essen gleich zusammen, komm lass uns zusammen essen. Wir sind im Ramadan und es wäre schön, wenn wir den Iftar (Fastenbrechen) zusammen begehen.“ „Ich faste aber nicht.“ „Ist egal, komm!“ Er nimmt meine Hände in seine Hände und wir gehen in den Park, in dem sich viele Menschen, die sehr unterschiedlich sind, auf gleichem Boden für das Abendessen getroffen haben. Ich suche mir einen Platz und setze mich hin. Wir hören Ezan, das Gebet, und plötzlich scheint die Stadt zu heilen. Wir sind leise. Eine Frau – die Kopftuch trägt – setzt sich mir gegenüber und sagt zu mir: „Mein Schäfchen (ein wunderschönes Kompliment bei uns) nimm diese Datteln und das ist dein Wasser. Guten Appetit!“ Alle sagen dann: „Guten Appetit!“

 


»Allah sagt zu den Eltern, dass sie ihren Kindern auch zuhören sollen«

 

Ich unterhalte mich mit dieser Frau, die meiner Mutter ähnelt. Ich frage, ob das Treffen ganz spontan zustande kam? „Ganz spontan“, sagt sie. “Guck mein Schäfchen, wir leben unter einem Himmel, wir haben vergessen, wie schön es in dieser Stadt sein kann. Das ist ein Geschenk von Gott. Wir haben euch vor zwei Monaten nicht verstanden, weil wir so mit uns beschäftigt waren. Wahrscheinlich haben wir nie zugehört. Ihr habt so eine schlimme Zeit erlebt – unseretwegen. Es tut mir Leid. Ich kann euch eure Schmerzen nicht vergessen lassen, aber wenn ihr wollt: Wir können sie zusammen reparieren. Ich bin eine Mutter – eine konservative Mutter. Meine Tochter war auch auf dieser Demo. Ich war dagegen, aber dann hat sie mir etwas gesagt, dass sehr peinlich für mich war, weil ich es vergessen hatte. Und zwar: ,Mutter, Allah sagt zu den Eltern, dass sie ihren Kindern auch zuhören sollen, dass die nicht alleine entscheiden können. Denkst du jetzt, dass du eine richtige Muslimin bist? Du denkst falsch! Du handelst gegen den Koran. Der Islam hat keine Hierarchie. Ihr sollt uns verstehen und zuhören! Bis du verstehst, bin ich nicht mehr deine Tochter!‘ Das war ein so schmerzvoller Moment, weil sie mir die Wahrheit ins Gesicht sagte. Ich habe mir da versprochen eine richtige Muslima zu sein. Wir müssen euch als Mütter unterstützen. Wir müssen euch Motivation geben, wenn ihr den Glauben verliert. Wir Mütter haben immer Kraft für unsere Kinder. Was ihr gemacht habt, hat uns auf jeden Fall verändert. Heute wollte ich mit meinen Nachbarn hier zusammen essen. Dann haben wir die Leute auf der Straße gefragt, ob mit uns essen wollen. Jetzt schau! – Wir sind mehr als 100 Leute und jeder hat etwas. Wir sind so unterschiedlich, aber wir können uns mitteilen, weil wir jetzt etwas Verständnis haben.“

 


»Danke Gott, dass du mir geantwortet hast«

 

Ich stehe auf, gehe zu ihr, küsse ihre Hände und umarme sie und heule. Wir weinen dann zusammen und wer in unserer Nähe ist, weint mit uns. Danke Gott, dass du mir geantwortet hast. In dieser Gesellschaft fühle ich mich nicht mehr alleine. Ich vergesse die Zeit im Gefängnis. Die Umarmung von ihr ist meine Freiheit, der Boden ist meine Freiheit, der Himmel, das Meer sind meine Freiheit. Und ja es gibt immer Hoffnung. Die Umarmung nimmt meine Schmerzen weg. Dieser Moment ist eine große praktische Predigt, die jeder erleben sollte. Dieser Abend vor vier Jahren war mein schönster Tag von Ramadan, den ich nie vergessen werde. Die Gesellschaft braucht nur eine Umarmung. Lasst uns einander umarmen!

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